When Jon was 22 years of age an opportunity opened up for him to move into a home with 3 other men with special needs. I was nowhere even close to saying yes but after a lot of prayer we decided that we would try. I cannot begin to express how very hard this was for Jon and for us as parents. I must say that in the beginning it seemed like Jon adjusted quicker than I did:) He had some good times here but after some time we knew that he was not adjusting as well as he should. Because he shared the home with 3 other men he found it much too busy and too loud which he doesn't do well with at the best of times.The last year that he lived in this home was a very difficult one and he called out for help in the only way he knew how, by being very destructive and injuring himself as well. In these moments of frustration he would throw whatever he could lift and bang his head against walls. Twice he broke the living room window, by banging his head against it really hard. He also put a lot of holes in the walls with his head. His home started to resemble a war zone. I'm sure he must have had some concussions. One time he struck his head hard on a broken chair and ended up with black eyes and we believe a broken nose. The doctor checked it and seemed to think it was better to let it heal without surgery. When outside, he would frequently bang his head on a rock. He visited the ER so many times. One time I remember the doctor saying that he couldn't keep doing this as the flesh was so 'mushy' and wasn't healing well enough in between gashes and that he couldn't stitch it properly. Try to imagine those hospital visits..not pleasant. He had started wearing a helmet during this time and had to wear it most of the time especially during those times of frustrations.
Jon came to stay with us every weekend and when it came time to take him back to his home he didn't really want to and often put up a fight. Our walls at home didn't fare any better then at his house!
It was decided by all involved that it would be better for Jon to move to a new home where he would live by himself with 24 hour staffing. Getting funding and a suitable home had to happen first. After applying for funding, the 'go ahead' was eventually given to search for another home for Jon. We are very thankful to enVision who worked hard to accommodate Jon's needs.
These were very difficult times but God supplied the strength needed.
Philippians 4:13 ' I can do everything through him who gives me strength.'
I cannot imagine how hard all of this was for all of you Betty...
ReplyDeleteWow Betty.....thank you for sharing this difficult time in all of your lives. So often people who have gone through difficult times share the verse you did ...it is then that God's grace and His loving compassion is seen as those who trust in Him share how God was their source of strength. Like Ellen said....I can hardly imagine.
ReplyDeleteMy exact words. .Wow Bett ...I cannot even begin to imagine how your mother heart must have broken so many times over. You are such a testimony to me in so many ways. . .thanks so much for sharing things that at times must be so hard to verbalize let alone put down in print.
ReplyDeleteOh Betty, I know that your verse is true, the thing is... you still had to go THROUGH it. You couldn't go around it, you had to go through it! And you survived, I daresay, quite beautifully! Here's to helmets and little birdies that fly out of our nests and find nests of their own!
ReplyDeleteIt must be difficult, even from this distance in time to recall those days. How ever did you live through it day by day? How grateful I am with you that God carried you as parents through this valley.
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine what you went through! I am sure that Philippians 4:13 became your theme verse. Only through His strength!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me emotional reading this post. These were difficult times and as always my parents, with God's help, did not give up and focused on what was best for their child. I am grateful for what enVision did for my brother. I am also thankful for a wonderful Mom and Dad and the involvement in all their children's lives.
ReplyDeleteThis was really hard to read. You guys are rockstars!LOVE
ReplyDeleteBetty, I can only imagine the pain of those difficult years. Only God could have sustained your mother-heart from total dispair! Although I can't help but believe you must often have felt such total agony.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful that God had a solution and that Jon was given the home and care that he needed!
I'm sorry it was so long in coming and that you had to walk that painful journey.
I love the thought of the first thousand years in eternity that you will sit and walk and talk with Jon and catch up on all you couldn't hear him say in this earthly life.